For some, dating can be a scary experience, but with the advent of new dating app technology, it's getting progressively easier to find your perfect match. So why not make dating a priority in 2018? With help from matchmaker Tammy Shaklee of H4M and dating app Chappy, we're hoping finding "the one" is a resolution you're sure to keep.
I coach LGBT singles to set a goal for the new year, and taking steps to reach that goal, just as you set goals at the gym, at work, or in your passions and interests, whether to meet someone new to hang out with, or a romantic interest, or an ideal long-term relationship. Sure it can happen organically, but usually with proactive steps to mix up your usual routine, habits, or failed methods or efforts.
I encourage folks to find LGBT meetups or even meetups of those with like-minded interests such as an indoor rock climbing or fitness group, to board games or trivia nights. In addition, more LGBT groups are forming in the networking space, from Out & Equal events, to gay chambers of commerce, or gay professionals, with monthly luncheons, evening happy hours, and mixers here in Chicago. Of course, volunteers for any of the advocacy events or fundraisers guarantees you'll meet fellow charitable singles who are also giving back to the community.
I can say, men are visual and men are sexual, so making an effort to dress your best and show up as though you are about to meet your future husband is key. Meeting someone at their best is more likely to lead to a second date. With lesbian women, and gay men, it's important to keep the conversation light, with positive and upbeat topics, not dwelling or discussing the past, but sticking to the present, with short references to the future.
The first date should be no more than two hours, and no more than two drinks. You should walk away wanting to know more about them, and them about you. You should be mannerly, and keep the conversation balanced in how much each of you asks or learns about each other. Even if this new person doesn't seem to be the one, you don't know who they know, and you want to be the single they were impressed with, even if it’s not a lasting match. I also coach regularly that attraction can grow. We have five years of examples of it, as we coordinate the first two dates with each match. A second date can have a renewed energy to it that one may not have felt overwhelmingly in the first date. When we hear the question of chemistry or connection after a first date, we remind singles that not all first dates are material for a blockbuster romantic comedy. Sometimes, it's simply a matter of getting to know a fellow eligible single with whom you have compatibility, and with maturity comes the patience to give it at least a second date to allow the time to learn more.
Be the single you want to meet. Whether that’s means prioritizing your own health, wellness, work/life balance, fitness, watching what you eat, having diversified interests, or developing spiritual, emotional, and financial stability. A well-rounded single pairs best with the same. I truly believe if you are relationship ready, there is an ideal single also ready to meet you. Dating is simply sorting. Not every first date is going to be the one. But each date leads you to the right date. Take each experience and continue to move forward until you meet the one. It's okay to be frustrated in being single. Now in 2018, take steps to do something about it.
To find your perfect match in 2018, download Chappy, a gay-dating app that can help you start your search for Mr. Right.
Photography via Facebook.com/chappyapp